Cold Death
by dragonspirit888
Summary: Shinn's thoughts and memories of Stellar and the war. Warning: Gundam Seed Destiny Spoilers SxS Please R&R. [Oneshot]


**Disclaimer: **I do not own the plot or the characters of this story. This fanfic was only written to give my personal thoughts on the feelings of the characters.

**Last Updated:** December 30, 2005

**A/N: **I just had to write about Shinn's feelings on Stellar's death as I watched this anime. It is very tragic and angsty and I share a lot of feelings with Shinn. I started thinking a lot about war and such so this became the product of all my thoughts. The whole story is told as it was shown in the anime. This is my second fanfic. I will read all reviews whether they are flames are not and take them into consideration for future pieces.. Please R&R and enjoy. Warning: There are spoilers for the Gundam Seed Destiny anime.

"_italics_" - Flashbacks

"normal"- Current

**Coldness of Death  
**  
'Why did she have to die? Why did she have to keep on fighting? Why couldn't I save her? Was I not strong enough? Why!'

Shinn sat their, inside the Impulse cockpit, cradling Stellar's lifeless body close to his. It was all too much. Tears were streaming down his face as he let out another scream. That was when the flashbacks came.

_In the ocean, Stellar was flailing about, trying to stay afloat. Shinn saw hew sinking and immediately took off his outer layer of clothes and shoes and dived into the ice cold water. She was flailing too much though. He brought her to the surface and her hands were moving about wildly. She scratched at his left cheek, drawing blood. The both went under again. Shinn brought her back up to the surface, and after a bit of screaming, she calmed down. Shinn slowly swam into a cove near the edge, under the cliff the both jumped off of. The both sat there, on the rocky shore, panting._

_"Are you crazy! Do you want to die! What were you doing, being so careless in a place where you couldn't swim!" Shinn screamed at her. The words hit Stellar like a brick and her face froze up._

_"No..! Die? No, I don't want to die. No!" Stellar screamed out and jumped toward the ocean._

_Shinn immediately jumped up and ran after her._

_"Hey! Wait a second... What is it?" Shinn asked while wading towards her._

_"No! No! I don't want to die! I am scared of dying..."_

_"Hey, wait! Don't go back out into the ocean!"_

_Shinn grabbed her around the waist. Stellar started struggling against him. She elbowed him in the face and blood dripped down from his lips._

_"No! I'll die if I'm shot! I don't want to die... No!" Stellar continued to scream. Shinn's eyes widened as he thought back to the war outside. All the suffering souls being tortured by the Earth Alliance. All because they hated Coordinators like him. She must have been one of the victims of the war. Shinn flipped her around and brought her to his chest._

_"Okay, I understand. It's alright. You won't die. Don't worry. I'll... I'll protect you!"_

_Stellar stopped struggling and started to cry against his chest._

_"I'm sorry." Shinn apologized. "It was my fault. I'm sorry. Its okay now." He brought her along the rocky shore once again._

_"It's okay. I'll protect you." Shinn soothed her as Stellar finished sobbing._

_"Protect...?"_

_"Yeah, you're okay now. You won't die, no matter what."_

_He dried her with his handkerchief. There was a cut on her foot from a rock. He asked her if it hurt and used the handkerchief as a makeshift bandage to stop the bleeding. He broke the emergency capsule that was given to him aboard the Minerva. It would send an emergency help signal to the ship. Someone would come pick him up later. Shinn took both of them to a nearby cave and started a fire with some sticks he collected. He also hung out his shirt and Stellar's dress to dry. He was slightly surprised to see she had no bra on. So they sat there, back to back, next to the fire._

_"What's your name? What town do you live in?" Shinn asked._

_"Name... Stellar. My town... I don't know." Stellar answered._

_"Who are you usually with? You mom? Or do you stay with your dad?"_

_"I'm always with Neo... Sting... Auel... I don't know my mother... or my father..." Stellar answered solemnly._

_"Oh, I'm sorry. You are alright now. I... I mean... I'll stay here to protect you."_

_"You'll protect Stellar? I won't die?"_

_Shinn smiled. "You're safe. You won't die... Ah, my name is Shinn. Shinn Asuka. Do you understand?"_

_"Shinn..." Stellar smiled back at him. She got up and went to her dress. She took something out and turned around. Shinn immediately blushed and turned his face downward so he wouldn't look at her chest. Stellar held out her hand to him. It was a shiny piece of shell. It was beautiful. "Here..."_

_"For me? You're giving this to me? Thank you."_

_Stellar smiled at him again._

The tears wouldn't stop flowing. He hurt all over. The pain was unbearable. More memories came. This time, they were almost like nightmares.

_It was near the factory. The one where the Naturals manufactured Extendeds for their own personal use. It was disgusting to be in such a place. But the Gaia was coming. Shinn needed to fight again... After Shinn slashed open the Gaia cockpit with the Impulses beam saber, the pilot was knocked unconscious. Shinn's heart stopped at the sight of Stellar in the Gaia. He came down and took her out. She was bleeding from the head. He took her inside the Impulse and flew back to the Minerva. After docking, he rushed Stellar to the infirmary. They found out that Stellar was an Extended, bred for war against the Coordinators. Shinn's blood ran cold. When Stellar first opened her eyes, she saw Shinn and said, "Who are you...?"_

_The doctor told Shinn that the Naturals may have been erasing her memories. Shinn decided to stay by Stellar's side. Eventually, Stellar remembered him._

_"Shinn...?"_

_Shinn had smiled at her then. He was overjoyed. She remembered him._

_"You came to see me...?"_

_"Yeah, I'm here Stellar. You're okay."_

_She often cried his name in her sleep along with another name, Neo... It was painful to see Stellar in pain. The helplessness in the infirmary was heartbreaking, especially when Shinn was with her._

_"I am scared of this place. Shinn... protect me... You said that you'll protect Stellar..." Stellar cried out in her sleep._

_Shinn felt like he was dying on the inside. But there was nothing he could do. Shinn thought she would be okay aboard the Minerva. He would keep his promise to protect her. But, a few days later, he learned something that threatened Stellar's life. Minerva was supposed to take her back and she might die along the way, but that was okay because they were going to dissect her anyway. Their knowledge about drugs wasn't as advanced as the Naturals so they were not able to keep her alive. It was disgusting. Shinn realized that people were always the same. The Coordinators were no better than the naturals. That night, he took Stellar out with him to the Impulse and with some help from Rey, he got her out of the Minerva. He contacted the man named Neo and made him promise to take Stellar away from the war, to not have her fight anymore. He did promise and Shinn gave Stellar back the piece of shell he received back in the cave near the ocean._

_"Remeber this Stellar. Remember me..."_

_"Shinn..." Stellar looks ill and Shinn ran back to Impulses cockpit before flying back._

_'You're safe now Stellar. You won't die.'_

That was when he was certain he saved Stellar from a horrible life. He was put under arrest for helping an enemy soldier. But he believed he did the right thing. Stellar didn't wish for that kind of life. She would be taken away from the war and the fighting. She was safe.

That was until he learned that Stellar was put back into a new mobile suit. The Destroy.

_Neo went back on his word and he made Stellar fight again. This time, thousands of lives were lost. Cities were totally demolished, all because of Stellar. Shinn couldn't believe it. It was impossible. Stellar didn't want to die, so how could she kill so many? He wasn't going to believe it. Shinn talked to Stellar. She recognized him and she lowered her weapon. Everything was alright, until she caught sight of the Freedom. The Freedom, the unit that shot down Neo. Stellar became outraged and started to fire, right at Shinn. The Freedom dived toward the Destroy and stabbed its beam saber into the center torso, jamming the cannon. The Freedom used its second saber and stabbed the right cannon. The Destroy exploded in a flash of life, surrounded by the destruction it caused. Shinn screamed._

_Shinn landed and came down from the Impulse's cockpit to where Stellar lay. She had the shell on a necklace around her chest. It had come out of her suit as she fell. Now, she lay on Shinn's lap, coming close to death. Tears streamed down Shinn's face as Stellar looked up at him._

_"Shinn...?" Stellar smiled. "You came to see me..." She raised her hand and Shinn took hold of it. "Shinn... said you would... protect Stellar..." Stellar winced in pain as she started crying as well. Tears came from both of their eyes as they cried._

_"Stellar... Stellar!" Shinn sobbed. He couldn't bear it. The pain was overwhelming._

_"Shinn... I like you..." Stellar had stopped crying and smiled one last time to Shinn before closing her eyes and going limp. Shinn's eyes widened._

_"Stellar!" Shinn remembered this pain. At Onogoro, where his family was killed. On the dock to the ship, he saw his sister's severed arm. The bloody corpses of his mother and father. The pain was the same one. The feeling of loss deep within his heart. It was hard to breathe. The sobs became short and painful. With Stellar still in his arms, he raised his head up just like at Onogoro._

_"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shinn screamed out into the world. He screamed out his pain and loneliness. All the suffering he went through, the suffering Stellar went through. He screamed until his lungs gave out and throat felt on fire._

Shinn looked down at Stellar's peaceful face. Everything was blurred from the tears. Snow was falling outside as the hatch from the Impulse opened up. It was cold, but Shinn couldn't feel anything but the pain in his heart. The sobs came back as he held her.

"It's alright now Stellar."

There was so much he couldn't believe. Neo lied to him. He made Stellar fight again with whatever lies he told her. He couldn't forgive the Earth Alliance for making Stellar into a human weapon. She didn't want that. She was always afraid of everything. And now, she didn't have to be afraid anymore. Still cradling her body against his, Shinn walked out onto Impulse's extended hand. He had waded Impulse into the middle of a lake. Now, as he stood holding Stellar in his arms above the water, he kneeled down.

"There is nothing to be afraid of anymore. Nothing will hurt you anymore. So..."

Droplets of his tears fell on Stellar's face. He carefully placed her body on the surface of the water.

"Nothing will come to scare you anymore... Nothing will come to hurt you anymore... So... please rest here... in peace."

He let go of her body and let it sink downward into the water. Stellar's arms opened up, as if embracing death as she sank into the darkness.

Shinn continued to cry on Impulse's hand.

"I promised to protect her. I... I promised to protect her!" Shinn said between sobs. He banged down on the metal plating of his mobile suit's fingers.

"Stellar! I am so sorry!"

He kept crying as the snow continued to fall.


End file.
